GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS MY FELLOW HUMAN BEANS

Hi there and welcome to my blog: The Coziest Corner.

This in not, in fact, the ‘cosiest corner’ (wow I used an ‘s’ in the spelling. Isn’t that strange. Welcome to my world.). It isn’t even a corner at all. I sincerely hope you realised that because if not I’ll have to arrange for you to get some special help in the brain department. Well, this is awkward. I have been caught red handed in this lie I have created. Tell me stranger, can you ever forgive me for this grave deception? IF THIS COULD BE A COZY CORNER I’D MAKE IT ONE I’M SORRY!

*Wipes brow and sighs* I’m terribly sorry may I start again?

I’m a mostly anonymous human because I really don’t like the idea of being strangled in my sleep by a creeper one night because I shared a few too many details on the interwebs. Forgive me, also anonymous reader, forgive me. I live in a country which I will probably never name unless something is making me very angry but I think it’s a pretty cool place to live so take my word for it. I will, however, let you know that I’m a she and a ‘wicked fresh gangsta teen home dog’ because if you have something against either of those groups I would like to show you the door *points to door*. Bye.

I pretend I’m funny but I’m really not so if you decide to stick around be prepared to feel some secondhand embarrassment for me, kk? See that hip internet speech? Am I cool yet? The correct answer is no.

I bet you’re wondering what this blog is all about, huh Sonny Jim? What’s that? Not really? Well too bad punk imma tell you anyway, you better sit yo butt down and listen.

I just so happen to be a person and so I do people things such as watching movies and far too much TV, listening to wicked fresh beatz, getting annoyed by the most first-world things and getting even more annoyed by actual issues, I also take part in activities like breathing and digesting the sustenance which I have consumed. This blog will be a number of things but most can be described as my thoughts on “stuff”. Occasionally I’ll try to be sophisticated and other times I’ll probably be fangirling so hard I’ll struggle to form a coherent sentence. Best of both worlds just like Hannah Montana, amirite?

If you’re interested in sticking around to observe a small blog farmer tend to her simple crops I’d think that’s pretty cool. If not that’s cool too.

  How do you finish these things? Inspiring quote? Elaborate tap number?  Ummm…. 

  Talk to you soon? See you around? Bye? 

*Jazz hands*

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