i demand a formal apology.

I have been LIED to. 

Who in the hell was telling me that university is easier than high school? Well, not easier, but that you have way more free time? I want a written apology from every single individual who threw these untruths at me. I want them to get down on their knees and apologise because that is NOT THE CASE HOLY HELL BATMAN.

I’ve seen my boyfriend less than I did in year 12. I have seen my friends once? In 6 months? Um. This is not okay. This is rude. I need someone to tell me that it gets easier. Can someone do that? I’m in a friggin education course. I should not be this busy. I don’t even have hobbies. I’M NOT IN ANY CLUBS. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Despite this, I am delusional telling myself that Semester Two will be, like, way easier and I’ll have my life together again. Which I totally will. Right? Right? Please, somebody, tell me that I’m right.

Where did this lie come from? Is this so that we work harder in high school? Or, am I the only one that thought this? Am I crazy? I’m crazy, aren’t. Great. Who am I even talking to?

Okay. Brief rant to nobody on the internet done. Back to cramming.




i finally went to a rally.

A bisexual freaks out a little.

Let’s be honest, it was only a matter of time before I went to a rally. I think I may just be a little too passionate and a little too politically minded to spend my life sitting at home and not standing up for what I believe in. My parents wish I would chill.

It case you aren’t aware, same-sex marriage is not yet legal in Australia. Which is more than a little bit dumb and unfair. Many of my friends would disagree. A lot of them think that being gay is a choice and that marriage is a sacred thing between a man and a woman. They were raised to believe that, and I suppose since they aren’t opposing gay marriage in the streets with little signs I should probably be content with that. They are my friends, and I love them, even if we don’t agree.

Since starting university though, and meeting people outside the community of my conservative Christian high school, I have felt far more comfortable being myself. I’m bisexual. I just said that. On the internet. There are the words, written down for the first time since I scrawled them in my journal and pasted coloured paper over them so that no one could see them. For somebody is is 100% for people unapologetically being themselves, I am 100% for me being what I think other people want me to be. I’ve come out to a couple of fellow LGBT+ people that I have met in my first semester of uni, but the only person that I knew 6 months ago who knows now is my amazing boyfriend of two years. And he worked it out for himself.

Being bisexual is particularly scary for me when it comes to my amigos because I know that they’ll think that it’s a choice. Especially because I have a boyfriend. I have to be straight right. For a very long time, I thought that I was. I thought that when I adored female characters I wanted to be them. Spoiler: I didn’t. Everyone I knew was straight or at least said they were, in my small little world. I didn’t want to be the outlier. Especially in an environment that would not be pleasant for an LGBT+ person. People for the last couple of years thought I was playing gay a little for the LOLZ but I was just being myself. If you say something astoundingly bisexual and laugh after it people will just assume that you’re kidding.

Being at university brought me the opportunity to go to my first marriage equality rally and it wasn’t until a few days before it that I remembered that no one knows. I wore black jeans and a dark shirt because, honestly, a part of me thought that I might see someone that I know protesting the rally. No one protested the rally. But the fear was there.

I know people who think that “love the sinner hate the sin” is reassuring. That they’ll love you but just hate a fundamental part of you, and I’m not okay with that. I don’t think that that’s possible. Those words stung. Every homophobic remark or anti LGBT+ comment hurt, and for so long I didn’t even realise why. I’m the ‘B’ in that group that you’re saying shouldn’t be allowed to marry a same-sex partner, or have children, or have proper sex education. The ‘B’ was sitting at the table with them, too afraid to put the label on myself because I was scared of losing everyone that I care about. That’s probably not giving enough credit to my friends. They are kind and wonderful people, I love them deeply, and bless their hearts they do try. I’ve seen so much growth. Just not enough to feel secure.

Marching down the street surrounded by rainbows I felt that I was finally with people like me, and it was marvellous.

uni lectures are pointless 

These are the notes that I took in my history lecture that I made the mistake of going to at 3 on a Friday. My wonderful lecturer Barry Bones (that is clearly not his name) sucked up a precious hour of my life.

Barry’s favourite number is 7!

Orange is Barry’s favourite colour!

Barry doesn’t know the difference between a simile and a metaphor!

Tacitus – coming from a small world, the world of the Europeans was much larger to his mind.

Barry has experience staying in bush houses, kangaroos!

Barry is cool with manslaughter.

Also, Barry did basic French, he likes to point that out.

Rolling dice?? Oh, he means question words. This is silly.

Apparently why and how are the same thing?

We should be able to pick up inferences of these things based on these question words. That’s his point.

Group 21 are a bunch of teacher’s pets. Good for them. Glad Blaine has their life together. I don’t.

Maths? Parabolas? I don’t understand. Adrian and his ‘classy’ maths.

Barry can’t speak. Matt-rices.

Circus hoops?


OOOOO the instigator’s perspective. That’s a good point Barry. I’ll do that.

Barry is a dick to people with bad eyesight.

JUGGLING SKILLS. He was in the circus.

Practice = improvement = cool to talk to at parties

It has been 20 minutes and we’re still in the padlets.

“LMS has been very slow all day”- Jo

Shout out to Rachel for being active in the padlet.

Padlet is beautiful and so are you.

ALEX! You go, write that post.

Is this a lecture? Literally, this is the worst use of 27 minutes.

BLAINE again with the great concepts. Is Blaine a female? Why are you assuming Ass Professor Barry Bones?

That super angry guy from the first week 6 reading is angry. You already knew this.


The chair tried to eat my cardigan.


Glats-bru-rary. Wow. Who pays this man.

Barry keeps secrets.

Arthur = BAZZA

Even if you’re wrong Barry doesn’t want you to FEEL like you are. Nice guy Barry Bones.

Barry doesn’t let Jo finish, proceeds to tell us how Jo feels.

Please don’t write a textbook, Barry.

A guy walked out, take me with you.

“You might not want to be a historian, you might want to be a something else” – Barry Bones 2017.

Syria would have picked A. This is significant?

The lecture is now starting properly. 38 MINUTES INTO THE LECTURE GOSH DANG.

Pre-Padlet Powerpoint (PPP)

Gildas was welsh Scottish, wrote in Latin. You know this. You were just in a tutorial, why are you here?


Barry’s holiday photo slideshow.

Another source?! Wild.

Jordanes – Gothic history, preserves lost history the plagiarising bastard. All I’m gathering is plagiarism is the real hero.

Ambrosius Aurelianus returns. Is he Arthur? Arthur’s evil twin?

Draw that bow real far Barry, keep the Roman thing going.

TEN MINUTES. Now for the bridging.

Jumping around is not something new Barry. We are used to it. It’s your MO.

Oh another map that I CAN’T SEE. BRILLIANT.

Modern Celtic Migrations. Cool. Moving on again.

Ogham Stone. 5th century. Bad Latin for stupid people. I think someone just gagged in Shep. It happened again. Help.

Tall things written to address God. That’s pretty cool man.

5 Mins Barry.

I’m packing up.

shrill – notes on some notes from a loud woman 

A kind of review (but mostly just me gushing).

Shrill – Notes from a loud woman by Lindy West         4.75 stars

I am in love with Lindy West after my 288-page journey with her. Her work was not something that I was familiar with but ‘Shrill’ seemed to fit the brand of funny, feminist memoir that I adore, so, I picked it up on a whim when I stumbled across it at the library. From the very first page, I knew that I was going to have a good time. I read this book in almost one session. I devoured it.

Lindy had that kind of voice that feels friendly and familiar. She writes like a real person and she doesn’t hold back. This makes all of the essays flow. It feels like you’re having a conversation, that she is sharing her thoughts, feelings and experiences with you personally.

Personally, I found Lindy very relatable. I’ve experienced much of the same body confidence issues and reading about somebody else, who has felt the same way and overcome it, really helped to push me in my own journey to self-acceptance. I mean, I have quite a ways to go, but every little bit helps.

This is a book that I would love to give to so many of the people that I went to high school with because it tackles feminist topics that are more approachable with anecdotal evidence. From rape jokes to abortion and treating people like human beings. I want to throw this book at some people but they’d probably go “HA feminazi pig get memed”, so, it wouldn’t be worth it. Or would it?

I loved that Lindy was constantly reminding the reader to consider their own voice and the changes that they can make by speaking up. There were times in the last few years where I was made to feel like I should remain silent and that my opinions were invalid and annoying. Lindy reminded me of the importance of making my voice heard, and I thank her for that.

Seriously, pick up this book. Give it a go. I’d summarise and quote but you should just go and read it for yourself.


welcome to me freaking out about ‘the walking dead’ #6

‘Rock in the Road’ and ‘New Best Friends’.

Okay, guys, I was on a cruise to Tasmania when season 7B premiered so this post is late even though I wanted to be really on the ball this time around. Sorry ’bout it.

My favourite show is back! Rick and the gang. My little nuggets. Taking on the zombie apocalypse one day at a time.

I’m mostly going to talk about ‘New Best Friends’ because that episode had me shook fam. They were hopeful again. Rick and his little “look at all of these people who aren’t saviours pointing weapons at my face” smile. These new people seem very cool. I don’t know why they talk like people who are forgetting how to formulate a proper sentence or the mysterious expositionary character from a fantasy novel. They can keep it though. Along with their #fashion looks. What a badass little squad. Now all they need are some showers. That zombie with the spikes, though, wowza, I would not have wanted to be the one who created that killing machine.

King Ezekiel is such a cool dude. I kind of get the impression that he was a pre-school teacher before, you know, all the dead people. He should be reading me a picture book before bed each night. I think I’m losing it. It is very late at night and I am tired.

Tara has become one of my favourite characters. Not because she has the same name as me, ya hear me, Janet, she just seems like the most realistic and relatable character. She is also very funny. We must be related. Get it, because this recap has made you chuckle audibly so many times already. Don’t worry, I do have a day job.

Carol is my favourite and I just want to let her read her book by the fire imagining all of her friends alive, safe and eating fresh, baked goods. Daryl is everything when it comes to being protective of Carol, I can relate. I just wish the writers would make a decision on the two of them and run with it, it’s not like they have a comic book storyline to ignore when it comes to the badass kiddos.

I’m excited to see where things go. All of the groups may team up to take out the saviours but what the hell happens after that. They just ignore each other. Who will take on the role of powerful assholes? Rick and his group? The forest lesbians? Who knows? Not me and probably not the writers. Ha.

I’m going to let you all return to your lives now. Thanks for wasting the few moments it took you to not read this. Much love.


weird things customers have said in my bookshop #5

This time you get 3 for the price of 1. That price is free, this is WordPress.

This completely average looking woman was flicking through a Superfood Cookbook, standing in front of the bay where we show all of the cookbooks. She gets my attention, and I ask if she needs anything and she responds:

“Yeah, just a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Where are the cookbooks?”

I pause for a moment before gesturing directly in front of her, “They’re all just here.”

“Oh, thanks so much.”


Somebody else returned a copy of a completely read book. The spine wasn’t broken so company policy says that we must give a refund. I died of grumpiness that day.

There is nothing better at Christmas time than stupid, asshole kids being little freakin’ assholes. Swagging in with their Macca’s $1 slushies and going, “Do you have books with pages in them?” 5 freaking minutes before closing. Dammit.


welcome to me freaking out about ‘the walking dead’ #5

What the frick am I supposed to do until February? 

This episode was super wild my friend. “Hearts Still Beating” left my heart completely stationary. I feel like I’m being constantly attacked by this show if I’m being honest. It seems a little unfair.

When they teased the ‘bury your gays’ trope again with Aaron I was like, ‘Nah man, don’t play that game. I will be displeased.” And then he was okay. AND THEN they just straight up beat him, over and over again. What did that poor man ever do to anyone? His character is very similar to Glenn’s in their shared driving factors. He makes me miss Glenn.

When they killed Whiter Than Sour Cream TM, I was actually happy for once. Like that guy just never did anything good, only out for himself, I don’t play games with folks like that and so I don’t appreciate watching my faves play games with folks like that. *Googles character name so I can cease being super vague* Spencer! Freaking Spencer. Hate that guy. When Negan did the whole, “Oh there are your guts” thing I was like “OHHHHHHHHHH GET REKT SPENCER YOU TINY DONGED SPINELESS MOFO, TRYNA COME AT RICK BUT YA TOO COWARDLY GOT YOUR GUTS ON DA FLOOR.”

Negan makes this show so much better. But then Rosita with the bullet, I was like “Nah fam, not over Mr. Double Ply.” The hoe didn’t listen and went and done it anyway. Sigh. So the useless trade was made. Daryl breaks out and Eugene was taken in.

Plus what is with this show and killing the people who haven’t really done anything ever to anyone. It’s a little unfair.

At the end, when they did the rousing speech. Heck yeah, we’re gonna fight. That’ll be a good half season. All of them looking at each other and talking with their eyes. Enid and Carl worry me because kissing a Grimes is like accepting a death sentence.

What I don’t understand is that The Saviours are clearly gathering enough supplies from other groups to not have to work themselves other than collecting. If that is the case then they must be collecting from more than just the groups we have met so far. How have we not seen them? Have these characters been driving super far every time they go somewhere for the last 3 seasons? It has to be close enough for people to travel on foot to locations. A group rebellion should not be that far out of reach or difficult to orchestrate.

Please talk to me about this show. I have no real friends and as a result, no one to scream at about this show.