welcome to me freaking out about ‘the walking dead’ #6

‘Rock in the Road’ and ‘New Best Friends’.

Okay, guys, I was on a cruise to Tasmania when season 7B premiered so this post is late even though I wanted to be really on the ball this time around. Sorry ’bout it.

My favourite show is back! Rick and the gang. My little nuggets. Taking on the zombie apocalypse one day at a time.

I’m mostly going to talk about ‘New Best Friends’ because that episode had me shook fam. They were hopeful again. Rick and his little “look at all of these people who aren’t saviours pointing weapons at my face” smile. These new people seem very cool. I don’t know why they talk like people who are forgetting how to formulate a proper sentence or the mysterious expositionary character from a fantasy novel. They can keep it though. Along with their #fashion looks. What a badass little squad. Now all they need are some showers. That zombie with the spikes, though, wowza, I would not have wanted to be the one who created that killing machine.

King Ezekiel is such a cool dude. I kind of get the impression that he was a pre-school teacher before, you know, all the dead people. He should be reading me a picture book before bed each night. I think I’m losing it. It is very late at night and I am tired.

Tara has become one of my favourite characters. Not because she has the same name as me, ya hear me, Janet, she just seems like the most realistic and relatable character. She is also very funny. We must be related. Get it, because this recap has made you chuckle audibly so many times already. Don’t worry, I do have a day job.

Carol is my favourite and I just want to let her read her book by the fire imagining all of her friends alive, safe and eating fresh, baked goods. Daryl is everything when it comes to being protective of Carol, I can relate. I just wish the writers would make a decision on the two of them and run with it, it’s not like they have a comic book storyline to ignore when it comes to the badass kiddos.

I’m excited to see where things go. All of the groups may team up to take out the saviours but what the hell happens after that. They just ignore each other. Who will take on the role of powerful assholes? Rick and his group? The forest lesbians? Who knows? Not me and probably not the writers. Ha.

I’m going to let you all return to your lives now. Thanks for wasting the few moments it took you to not read this. Much love.

 

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weird things customers have said in my bookshop #5

This time you get 3 for the price of 1. That price is free, this is WordPress.

This completely average looking woman was flicking through a Superfood Cookbook, standing in front of the bay where we show all of the cookbooks. She gets my attention, and I ask if she needs anything and she responds:

“Yeah, just a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Where are the cookbooks?”

I pause for a moment before gesturing directly in front of her, “They’re all just here.”

“Oh, thanks so much.”

What?

Somebody else returned a copy of a completely read book. The spine wasn’t broken so company policy says that we must give a refund. I died of grumpiness that day.

There is nothing better at Christmas time than stupid, asshole kids being little freakin’ assholes. Swagging in with their Macca’s $1 slushies and going, “Do you have books with pages in them?” 5 freaking minutes before closing. Dammit.

 

welcome to me freaking out about ‘the walking dead’ #5

What the frick am I supposed to do until February? 

This episode was super wild my friend. “Hearts Still Beating” left my heart completely stationary. I feel like I’m being constantly attacked by this show if I’m being honest. It seems a little unfair.

When they teased the ‘bury your gays’ trope again with Aaron I was like, ‘Nah man, don’t play that game. I will be displeased.” And then he was okay. AND THEN they just straight up beat him, over and over again. What did that poor man ever do to anyone? His character is very similar to Glenn’s in their shared driving factors. He makes me miss Glenn.

When they killed Whiter Than Sour Cream TM, I was actually happy for once. Like that guy just never did anything good, only out for himself, I don’t play games with folks like that and so I don’t appreciate watching my faves play games with folks like that. *Googles character name so I can cease being super vague* Spencer! Freaking Spencer. Hate that guy. When Negan did the whole, “Oh there are your guts” thing I was like “OHHHHHHHHHH GET REKT SPENCER YOU TINY DONGED SPINELESS MOFO, TRYNA COME AT RICK BUT YA TOO COWARDLY GOT YOUR GUTS ON DA FLOOR.”

Negan makes this show so much better. But then Rosita with the bullet, I was like “Nah fam, not over Mr. Double Ply.” The hoe didn’t listen and went and done it anyway. Sigh. So the useless trade was made. Daryl breaks out and Eugene was taken in.

Plus what is with this show and killing the people who haven’t really done anything ever to anyone. It’s a little unfair.

At the end, when they did the rousing speech. Heck yeah, we’re gonna fight. That’ll be a good half season. All of them looking at each other and talking with their eyes. Enid and Carl worry me because kissing a Grimes is like accepting a death sentence.

What I don’t understand is that The Saviours are clearly gathering enough supplies from other groups to not have to work themselves other than collecting. If that is the case then they must be collecting from more than just the groups we have met so far. How have we not seen them? Have these characters been driving super far every time they go somewhere for the last 3 seasons? It has to be close enough for people to travel on foot to locations. A group rebellion should not be that far out of reach or difficult to orchestrate.

Please talk to me about this show. I have no real friends and as a result, no one to scream at about this show.

this week in celebrity entitlement.

Jennifer Lawrence tries to make disrespectful behavior a #relatable anecdote. 

I watched this video last night right before bed. I wish I hadn’t. Why, J-Law? Why?

It just drives me crazy that she could consider the cultural and religious views of the Hawaiian people to be a silly thing that she can ignore in order to satisfy her desire to scratch her wetsuit-clad butt. Oh, Jen, there is this wonderful thing that my good friend Aretha Franklin introduced me to, it’s called respect. You should try it.

Look I get it. She is telling a funny story, she is trying to be the funny relatable celebrity so that her fans will go, “OMG J-Law gets an itchy butt too? We’re basically twins.” I feel like she still could have just scratched her ass herself rather than using, what she knew at the time to be, sacred rocks.

When she says, “Ancestors or something,” my eyes rolled entirely out of my head at her reluctance to even learn a little bit of information about the area that she was filming in. Honestly, people make mistakes, who knows, I myself may have behaved inappropriately around sacred rocks in my own time, but I have not known, nor would I make the beliefs of a group of people a punch line to my joke.

Her flippancy about the fact that her actions endangered the crew on set because, come on, she’s Jennifer Lawrence, the money maker, also grinds my gears.

I feel like Chris Pratt’s facial expressions sum up everything. Like, “What is she saying? Why is this happening? You did what? I’m meant to be laughing but it isn’t really funny.”

She has made an almost-apology:

But it has more to do with the fact that people are mad at what she said than showing remorse for her actions or ignorance.

Plus what kind of celebrity makes formal apologies on Facebook? The social media platform for weird aunts and estranged cousins, that seems sincere.

welcome to me freaking put about ‘the walking dead’ #4

You know how I said these would be more regular? I lied. Don’t trust people on the internet folks.

I am behind so please no spoilers. If anyone says anything about ‘Hearts Still Beating’ I will end them. Okay.

Oh wow. I really haven’t talked about this show in a while. Everything about this show causes me pain. Honestly, I actually can’t deal with the struggle. This show makes me lose the ability to english.

Tara finally getting a feature episode was the best thing that had ever happened to me until I realised that she didn’t know that her girlfriend and the guy who saved her life and brought her to her now family are bothe dead. I don’t know what happened with senses in that sentence but I am too tired to fix it.

The Zombie Amazons were pretty cool but I am very worried for their safety. I feel as though they were put there to be expendable and that makes me concerned. Plus seeing those children with guns made me very afraid.

I am concerned by how much I smile when Negan is on screen. That man is so extra. Like chill out please it is simply the apocalypse friend.

Carl, my son. So much screen time. What a gift. “Small emo country boy tries to be big scary man-beast”, a new title for the show right there. Alternatively, “Eugene actually exceeds character expectations” or “Is it okay to be this attracted to Jesus?”.

I honestly will try to be more regular with these incoherent ramblings. I know that all 0 of you adore them.

Stay spicy my little children.

 

an ending.

Dear readers (reader if I’m lucky, let’s be honest),

I have officially graduated from high school. A huge chapter of my life has come to a close. Last night as I donned my gold sash, paraded in to the sound of the dreaded bagpipes (Why bagpipes in Australia I ask you?) and sat still for 3 hours just waiting for the speeches to be over, I realised that I was no longer a high school student. I had become a graduate. This place in which I had spent the majority of my waking time in since I transferred there in Grade 4, this place that is 5 minutes from my house, this place where I had made friends and become the person I am today, I have outgrown.

I am a person who loves school. I always have. I love my teachers and the way they try to make even the worst content engaging and fun. I actually love having work to do because it keeps me busy and makes me feel like I’m doing something. I like routine. I like seeing my friends every day. I like school. Which is probably why I want to train to go back there in a different role. To help the kids who don’t like school, who don’t like learning and to work with those who do.

None of that was the point of this post. I am clearly a mess already.

Endings are weird. They’re scary and sad but they are also so exciting. I get to try new things, I get to read again, I get to meet new people and I get to do all of this knowing that failure isn’t really something to be afraid of. Now I get to do what I want to do and spend time on the people and things that I love.

I’m not really an adult yet and I don’t think I every really will be, but now I get to pretend for a while.

These were just a few thoughts on my entire life changing, not that you really care.

I hope you’re having a nice day.

welcome to me freaking out about ‘the walking dead’ #3

A new season means I’m back. Wow, you may be saying “I thought you were dead Taffles. Now that I know you weren’t devoured by a pack of hungry outback creatures I’m mad that you abandoned me.” I’m afraid dearest reader that while I remained safe from deadly Australian creatures I was being brutally slaughtered by my exams. As a result, I have been too dead to update and barely alive enough to even watch The Walking Dead, which we all know is the best show on television.

Onto my out freaking.

Holy freakin’ crap on a multigrain cracker. I swear AMC. When you killed (blank) and (black) but especially my son (blank) – do I really have to be spoiler free? why are you here if you haven’t watched it. Leave. – I cried for like an hour. That special effects work was amazing.

Daryl Dixon, I blame you. I don’t care how much hate I get. It is his fault. More bloody character development for possibly the most overrated character to ever grace our screens. I used to really love Daryl. I still like him. I’m just sick of him being untouchable. Like in episode 3 there was no tension because they won’t kill him. He makes them too much money. Chill with the dude.

The Kingdom. Man. I am down to clown. More of that please and less of the untouchable southern man sitting in a room and then standing in a room and then sitting in a room.

Negan is amazing. He has brought a whole new flavour to this show. Something so fresh and so clean, clean. I find myself smiling so hard that it hurts while also gripping a pillow really tight out of fear so there’s something.

Oh, my favourite scene. Carl and the hatchet and Rick reaching his absolute breaking point. That was some acting on fleek. Props to everyone.

I really love this show. Please if anyone reads this please talk to me. None of my friends watch it and I need to cry and squee. I’m developing wrinkles from scrunching my forehead in stress.